JUST ANOTHER WEEK IN PARADISE

PLAN OF SALV... WE HAD 2 PEOPLE COME TO CHURCH FROM THIS! 

Dear Family,  

hey hey hey holladay!!! How's everything going up there?? Here in the heart of texas things are beautiful! You could say I'm happier than a double wammy pina colada slurpdog from 7 11 wrapped in bubble tape! SOOO GOOD!!! i got an adjustable ctr ring stuck on my finger just barely oww. i didn't know that was even possible! 

SO THIS WEEK IN PARADISE THINGS WERE CRAZY.... most people wouldn't call houston texas paradise for a couple of reasons that i personally prefer to think are beautiful becasue this place is my anything and my everything! It will forever be like my waters of mormon becasue this is where I have come to know my savior! TEXAS IS HOLY GROUND FAM! I kiss these filthy sidewalks every morning! 

We've had a lot of flood clean-up like last year... CLAUDIA... oh bless her heart! The hoarder from last year yeeeppp the waters got er..  she got flooded again! She lives in our area so i give her a call and first thing she says, "IVE GONE DOWN UNDER! HELP!!" we run over there and i was terrified. I thought she was going to remember that I threw away her birth certificate and throw me in the black plastic sewer water from last year but I get there and she just wraps her little arms around my neck and wouldn't let go. she's like, "hna. i've missed you!!! I hate that floods make us come back together!" the whole afternoon she just had her arm linked with mine and we just worked side by side! My companions had never met her. They were a little scared... she's a fiesty little kitty cat. (her hoarder cat just had 4 babies.. she made me hold them all... sneezzess for days!) 

Next, we hit up Jackie... hna. K and I stopped her on the streets on easter to show her a video of Christ. She wasn't interested but we got her info and she got ours. SHE'S OBSESSED with some teacher at byu steven jones. So she was like I like the mormons I just don't like church. any who the day of the floods she texts us and tells us she got flooded and all her apts that she rents out. so we were like don't you even worry we will have a army there tomorrow. We call up the Elders and hit the streets running to her. Jackie is nuts and loves shipleys donuts, crazy hair dos, and a good thing of bubble tape as do I! Elder Jorgenson my district leader was like, "hna. Wagstaff this has got to be your crazy mom. i fully picture your mom being just like this." then.... KENNY STORMS IN! ohhhh kenny i think he took 7 smoke breaks in 30 minutes and got out his little comb to comb his hair about every other second. but good news is HE OFFICIALLY HIRED ME AS HIS SIDE KICK. We had each other rolling.  he kept acting like he knew exactly what he was doing and everything would go so wrong. I kept yelling, "Kenny come on get your back into it!" and he would yell, "sista it's not about the age it's about the milage!"  needless to say we got all the sheetrock out and more.... ( things that probs shouldn't have been knocked out!)

so I went on an exchange to the english area... most embarrassing moment. The sisters were like ok hna wagstaff every saturday morning we go to crossfit.. i'm already like oh crap A. forgot workout clothes B. don't have the legs for crossfit C. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS D. English people are scary..... 

We start getting ready for bed. mistake #1 I realize i didn't even bring pjs so sister crichton lends me some red candy cane pants with a red cross country shirt from 6th grade. #2 no tennis shoes... ok sister crichton is just a champ and has extras of everything but shoes 8 and i'm 6.. I'm feelin pretty good until i walk in there... OH BY GOLLY JEEPERS SAM HOUSTON WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?? I come walking in looking like a clown version of santa clause and everyone had these crossfit shirts and calves the size of julie cowleys bridge in her back yard... and they all just kind of took a quick breath when they saw me. I felt like a small smashed dog toy that you find after a long winter in the back yard. just all mangled and wrong! THEY MADE ME DO 100 TURKISH GETTUPS AND I WANTED TO DIEEEEEEEE. the black man instructor kept yelling at me and i kept telling him. "sir you stay over there! this is my first timeeeee!" "here at willowbend crossfit we don't believe in first time and we go past our goals." "ohhh do we now! thanks for the great quote. now leave me alone with this 10 pound thing you are making me lift over my head!" I HATE CROSSFIT I REFUSE TO EVER GO BACK!

last night I was out with Hna. Cantu we were on splits and we were just finishing a visit when she gets a call from her 92 year old mom who is hilarious! she's like, "HNA WE HAVE TO GO GET IN THE CAR!!" i'm like shoot is everything ok?? "My mom says there are 4 black men on her driveway with beer!!! they are coming inside the house to get her" I crack my neck get my keys between each knuckle, of course pray, and just hope that the little combat hannah durham taught me in college will suffice. We are speeding past gangs right and left just wondering what kind of moves or words i can pull out on these fellers. We come screeetttccching into the driveway so fast and the poor poor kids holding gatorade looked like deer in the head lights. Hna. Cantu: "ohhh my dear mother! these are her grandsons for heavens sakes!" HAHAHAHHAHAHA I WAS ROLLING!!! We walk inside and find the cute little grammy backed up in the kitchen scared to death! reminded me of HR! 

We had the chance to go to the temple today! wow that place is incredible! It truly is like home to me! I had alot of time to reflect about just everything! and lately i have been thinking about the 2 questions sisters always ask me on exchanges.... 1. What made you come on a mission 2. How much time do you have left.

missionaries always have a big story of why they came out on missions and i've always tried to think of something cool to tell them. But honestly I never knew what made me come on a mission. One day i made the decision with the Lord the next thing i know i was laying top bunk in house 17 in Mexico wondering what the heck i had just done! little did i know i had so much i wanted to change! I now can see why i came on a mission. I was not the girl i wanted and knew i could be. I know i would have always been an active member of the church but i don't ever want to just been an "active" member of the church ever again! i want to be so much more!  There was a hole in my heart that i didn't even know existed until i came to texas and my savior healed it. And now i feel like I'm becoming the girl i've always thought i would be. I always tell myself every morning, "be all that i can be" but to be honest i don't know all that i can be. Sitting in the temple today i just was thinking wow i can never be all that i can be just by being me. the lord will make of me all that i can be! 

2. whenever i tell the sister how much time i have left most of them say... ohhh so now you just have to "endure to the end" and i was thinking about that in the temple today.... i don't want to endure to the end! I WANT TO ENJOY TO THE END! this is the greatest thing i've ever been a part of! and i never want it to end! i have to enjoy every single second! 

family i love being a missionary!! tacos, bikes, book of mormon, bubble gum, ezra taft benson REPEAATTTTTTTT CAN I GET A WHAT UP WHAT UP??? I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ALL THE GUYS WITH GATORADE YOU FIND IN TEXAS!!! 

HUGS AND KISSES ON THE CHECKS FROM TEXAS!

HERMANITA WAGSTAFF

JACKIE!

                                                  THE TEXAS POOLS ARE VERY GREEN

                                                   WHAT TEXAS THINKS OF AMERICA

                                           KENNY... IS ACCTUALLY KENNY JAMES IN TEXAS FORM 

hello CHANGSTAFF xoxo bye R. C. Willy

 cutest kids wanted to come to church with us so bad!!

FAMILY, 

Family... come in family... are you there?? psss.... please send help.. i'm stranded on the bayou!! i am on a small stray mattress i found on the side of the road. HELP PLEASE!!!  HEY FAM DON'T YOU LOVE THESE CRAZY TEXAS TRICKSTER SURPRISES?? BETTER THAN RAGING WATERS! I LOVE SEWAGE WATER YAYA!!  i love them! You guys should have seen the means I went through to try and email you yesterday! First we were in lock down. After we got a text at 6 a.m. saying one of the elders had toasted the car, i knew it would be a long day!  President Hall came and put straight jackets on us all and made us watch stonecutter for hours and hours... Thank you mom for the purler beads. YOU KNOW MY HEART! AND YOU KNEW THERE WOULD BE FLOODING AND I WOULD NEED THAT! well we finally got the clear around 2 we could drive... our complex was safe but we could go about a good couple of feet before we would have to turn around... so what do a ginger snap cookie companionship do in a time like this... hop on bikes and go find something to do... I looked like I had a baby diaper blowout by the end of the day. SO MUCH MUD AND SO MUCH WATER EVERYWHERE! I feel so bad for all these people. it's exactly where the floods hit last year and it's right in my area! YAY SERVICE! We've already got a lot lined up and God is preparing hearts! 

SO MY NEW COMPANION SOOO CUTE LOVE HER TO 302,438 LITTLE PIECES!! SHE'S A GINGER! I THINK IM THE ONLY AMERICAN..... (actually not sure if i am american... i mean on the ACT BEFORE the actual test  they asked me what race I am.. and i put native american. i thought i was native to america.. but who knows! and the lady and Fiesta grocery store came up to me and looked like she was going to tell me a secret. but she just whispers... "are you a gypsie? people from america don't just look like you? I know a gypsie when I see one." i was like ummmm not that I've heard of but I'll ask my mom. So mom are we gyspies?... because Christina at Fiesta says I am?? sorry about that side note) NOW I CAN SAY I HAVE LIVED WITHIN SIDE AND SOUNDS OF TWO GINGERS AT ALL TIMES! THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER. I LOVE JOKES LIKE THIS! Her name is Hermana Mayne, she's from California and just so so darling!! She reminds me of my favorites. Rachie reese wagstaff and Cali whipperman put together! A couple things I love about her are... she worked at chick-fil-a so of course I make her say, "my pleasure" all the time,she likes to thrift shop like me, she looks through ads at night, biking behind her on the first day looked like she was in a paddle boat going across the pacific ocean. Her legs were moving so fast in gear 1-1... she then had her first whip out... hilarious! She's such a hard worker and just makes me cry every time she bears her testimony! what a sweet spirit she has! 

Ok we have the most tinest darlingest investigator Lorenzo... he has been investigating for 8 YEARS. I REPEAT 8 YEARS! IT'S ABOUT TIME ELDER CHANG! (just blame everything on him when things go weird) He thinks he's a member. He's in his 80's and goes out on his bike with us sometimes. It's soo cute! Any who the only thing that has been holding him back from getting baptized was that he doesn't have any money to get a divorce with the chicka in mexico. (have i already told you guys about him?? too many people with this same problem i forget!) He's living with this lady that has arthritis #living the law of chastity because #shecantmove #80yearsold so what do you do... first go check the bedroom situation. if i touch both my eyebrows there are two beds. if just one... i will only touch one eyebrow.. you watch for the signal! ONE BED YALL!! but he just sleeps on the floor. I then take out the small measuring tape you sent me mother (has come in hand in so many situations) and i see we are fitting a bed in the front living room!!!   simple solution... I was first thinking about buying him a bed...  then my good, my loyal, my very best friend came to mind... the one the only ELDER CHANG!!! "hey Elder Chang do we have any fluffy, white, old, crumply, damaged beds we could give to an investigator so he can get baptized??"  "sure hermana wagstaff! I can get that delivered today with a smile!" "and you know what elder chang, I will hand deliver it today with a even bigger smile and a nuggy!" then he told me to write about this in my journal... elder chang really??  We make the best team. We've already taken out all Mattress Firms and R.C. Willies in the state of Texas can't wait till CHANGSTAFF AND MORE hits the nation! say bye bye to those crum dog stores and say hello to your new friendly neighbors who know your situation better then you do!  LORENZO IS GETTING BAPTIZED!!! 

And Antonio my grandpa is doing awesome! church got a little heated! it felt like i had to break up a street fight... he's cuban. and the doctrine principles teacher is really scary and kinda mean and got in a small fight. I had to stand up and say, "hey guys look it's 1 o'clock looks like class is over! byyeeee " but every things fine again! we had fhe with this hilarious family and him. we were all playing charades and he leans over to me... "how old are you? this is a game for 7 year old!" i was like, "YOUR TURN!!" HE'S A FUNNY MAN! please pray for him! he hasn't smoked or drank coffee in 15 days!!! WHOOOOOOO he is getting excited to be baptized he just has no religious background so it's slow. yesterday we spent an hour 30 minutes on our knees in pure silence! he's coming along! Just cheer him on!

well love you all! pray I make it home from the library today!!

hermana changstaff

now there is three of us. we always go on splits with the members! i love it! hna. cantu my comp and Jasmine who came to church this week! we found her and her dad through a taco truck! yay for taco! 

Antonio and his klondiks... what would you do to eat a klondik with antonio and us??

when I make them practice talking to me like i'm an investigator and they are on their bikes... hahaha 

 oh no. not the aps..

texas... guys come on! lets be smart

bayou overflow.... just a little bit of water...

PAMPER, HUGGIES, BINKIES, RADDLES.... SOMEONE HELP I'M JUST A CHILD!

                                             WHAT GETTING 20 ADULTS TO CHURCH LOOKS LIKE 

Dear fam,

We are on isle 12. It's Monday April 4th about 5 o'clock at HEB (BEST STORE IN HOUSTON. not sure what it stands for.  have enough bacon? heaven even brighter? hope everyones beautiful?? I'm not sure but I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! They have all their shopping carts and the workers do cheer. MY KINDA PLACE!) I'm just wondering what kind of week it' s gunna be when this grandpa pops out of nowhere like this is some sorta of hold up and tells me I've gotta buy the mint oreos. We get in a small debate but of course he wins. He's texas, old, got white hair, needless to say the grandpas always win! I share with him a card and invite him to learn more... wasn't interested but what he really wanted was a MINT OREO.... We shared our first bite on the count of 3 and BOOM BEST WEEK EVER! 

Last night president asks if he can call us... don't know why but I basically died. He answers and he's like, "how are you guys doing?" we were like, "WE ARE TERRIFIED." He just starts laughing his head off... "perfect. right where I want ya! will you guys TRAIN A BABY MISSIONARY TOGETHER???" OF COURSE PRESIDENT. EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY HAD BABIES THIS LAST WEEKEND SO OF COURSE I WILL!! IT'S A GIRL!!!  But ya know STILL so stressed! Having a baby there's just so many unknowns... will they like pampers or huggies?? will they like the binky or pmg? whole milk or 2 percent? what will their sleeping schedule be like?? what will they eat?? Do I need to cover all plugs with plastic or just the ones down low?? Will their crib be too soft or too hard? (no problems in our brazilian bungaloo) What personality will she have?? SO MANY UNKNOWNS! And this is their first time out in the REAL WORLD!!! You have to make it the best, easiest, most comfortable transition! You know my children won't be doing any crawlin, any walkin, it is straight running when she gets here! We are gunna get those downeast dresses FILTHY!  I'm so excited! I can't wait to met her and i've just been praying for her for months! I've needed a new missionaries energy and faith lately! So we will give you updates when she comes out of the womb a.k.a mtc on wednesday and into our humble bungaloo! 

We have this investigator Antonio... basically the cutest 72 year old man from cuba you'd ever find! SO COOL HOW HE FOUND US!!! He found one of our pass along cards and called the back number which somehow took him to the missionaries in Arizona. They called us and we have been teaching him for a couple weeks! He is trying to read the bom all the way through before his baptism date for april 24th.  He is the perfect mix of Grandpa HR, Stan, and Devin Meier. Going over you know you'll hear a couple cuss words (we are workin on that), you know you will get 2 chocolate puddings and one klondik bar (just like stans orange juice and pop corn. and also hr. he lives off klondik bars. said he eats 3-4 boxes a week!noooo antonio!), you know there will be some hilarious under the breath comments, and so much laughing! He is such a hard worker and i feel so so sad for him! he lives here alone in the usa and he has to make pools and almost cuts off his hand every day in work. he doesn't have barely any food! I asked him what he was going to eat for din din and he pointed to the stove. i went and looked in it (hr mistake) spaggetioooos still in the can trying to boil. This member in the ward is obsessed with him and brings him food now!  He told me i am a wonderful Cuban because i don't take life too seriously and i like to laugh! so looks like im moving to cuba! But his spanish... ohhh cuban spanish very thick accents! i'm just finally getting use to it! But we went on a small treasure hunt through his house yesterday gathering all his lighters! (NOW I CAN LIGHT MY CANDELS WHOOO) I think i got them all! He's like i don't understand why i have to stop smoking but if Joseph Smith said so and you guys came all the way here from Utah i will believe it! AND HE STOPPED! He's awesome and have faith like bacon bits on top of a salad! soooo good!!! (ohhhh jorge on the other hand... wont accept baptisms for the dead. thats why we won't get baptized right now so please pray for him and everyone!!! our little easter basket fam is doing awesome!)

Last story... bit scary! The singles in our ward planned the biggest, the baddest SSSSSPPPPRRRIIIINNNGGGG BASH!! They had all sorts of little stations set up, from Tiki village to Talent shows to water games out back. They asked us to come share a message at 12 to all the people. We show up at 12 (there were cops in the parking lot not sure how crazy they thought it was gunna get) and NO ONE SHOWED UP! it broke my little heart to see them looking out the windows and the whole bash started at 9 but looked more like a spring dash. Lucky this chinese man showed up and they were able to play one on one volleyball! Go to all the spring bashs in the world family!!! i love you so much!

Pray my water doesn't break before Wednesday!!! ha WE ARE SO EXCITED TO MEET THE NEW MISISONARY! love you more than all the bluebonnets in texas!!! 

hermana wagstaff

GET A CLUE

FAMILY!!!! 

GIVE ME A F (clap clap clap clap) A (clap clap clap clap)  M (clap clap clap clap) I (clap clap clap clap) L (clap clap clap clap) I  (clap clap clap clap)E (clap clap clap clap) S (clap clap clap clap)! (small cheer for ya'll to do in the hospital) WHAT DOES THAT SPELL WHAT DOES THAT SPELL?? hit it Steph Hinckley, cue Ruth Wortly! I'm doing the can can on my head right now I'm just sooo happy!!! THE NEW BABES ARE TO DIE FOR! HOLY HEAVENS THEY ARE SO CUTE! I HAD NO IDEA RACHIE WAS HAVING HER BABY THIS WEEK?? WOW SHE'S A DOLL!!  I've been praying extra hard for all of you this weekend with all the new additions to the WOLF PACK!!! But I have found my own little additions to the wolf pack.... God found us three incredible families this week!!  RUDY, JANIRA, ANGELICA, AND ANA!!! (they are one of the fams) THEY ARE THEE CUTEST FAMILY IVE EVER MET IN MY WHOLE MISSION! you are going to LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM!!! They are from El. Salvador and it's been really hard finding functioning hispanic families.  They are perfect and so ready for the gospel!!! so when I asked Rudy how long he's been married to his wife and he said, "16 years and going on eternity." I was so happy!!  Every time we've been over they have a different 20 year old boy who just comes and asks Rudy for advice. He is going to be a bishop on day! Sweetest man and his wife and daughters ohhh i can't wait to take them on an H25 girls camp with Cristie in her nighties and Shelly Moss with yarn coming out her shoes! They came to conference... It was their first time at church and they were kind of confused  but they loved it! I mean how could you not love President Monson! Please pray for them!!

Welll soooo much happened this week! I mean you could say I was just DYING IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE! Dying of laughter about every second of every day, dying... literally dying, and dying of the spirit! 

First off, it was in their easter basket like apartment, with Rudy's Fam, with the old bag of Spaghetti. So the fam every time I walk into their apartment I feel like I'm walking into an easter basket. One reason being they have 7 bunnies sleeping in the parents bedroom. Smells beautiful! And second reason is they have decorations everywhere, photos everywhere! It feels like an easter basket! But we sit down to have a nice little lesson with them. I open my backpack and am digging for my BOM and boommm THE DARN SPAGHETTI that a member gave me a couple days back rollin around like it's my lipstick. Those were a lot of very foreign smells to take in! Bunny case mixed with old spaghetti! yum yum! 

In the humble patio, with Victor Gonzalez, with the office note..... oh I thought I was going to die!!! We get a call from Hno. Gonzalez one of my favorites! and he asks, "Hna. I got a letter from the office but it's in english can you come translate it for me? I can tell it's saying something about trash but i can't read the rest!" "Sure hno! we will be right over!" I'm expecting some news letter that we use to get on Hackett drive. Ideas how to decorate the home, good plants to plant this time of year, upcoming activities in the complex. NOOOOOO DOUBLE WRONG! I start translating, "Dear Victor Gonzalez you have been illegally burning trash on your patio and have to move out before midnight March 31." ohhhhh dear my voice cracks... (how did a little utah girl like me get in a mess like this!) he just looks at me with these little puppy dog eyes... "I haven't been burning it illegally..." I think he is involved with the twins on hackett drive. But he didn't seem too worried about it. Said it had happened before! Hope all gets figured out! 

In the kitchen, with the hamburger, and Hna. Cantu.... Ohhhh man! Hna. Cantu basically my mother here on the mission! sweetest thing! always feeds us more than a skyline b-ball team could eat at a buffet. First i just think it's the large pizza that I have to finish so I quickly and violently get the 4 pieces of pizza down. Once we got the pizza down she starts clapping... "i have a surprise!" oh no ohhh no what could it be... DON DON DON A HAMBURGER AS HARD AS DADS TOE NAILS!!! (anyone who has seen those knows what i'm talking about!) then that was not the end guys... a whole waffle cone bowl with strawberry icecream... DEAD! 

In my bed, Hna. Kirkendall, with the markers.... I turn over to say goodnight to hna. Kirkendall and she looks just exactly like Mrs. Doubtfire! She so innocently asked, whats that?? as I started explaining it... "oh it's this show where this old man is dressed up like a grandma....." needless to say i got lots of markers thrown at my head! hahaha whoppps 

On Bissonnet, with a cockroach, with William. We were just trying to teach william when a swarm of flying coackroaches comes in! Don't tell me to act natural in a situation like that. I hit ground deck so fast! we finally get back into position and william is just petting a small cockroach in his hand! WHY WILLIAM NOOOO NOT TODAY! He's like, "they are harmless guys, why are you so scared!" I made him put it down. I couldn't teach him. Petting a roach was just too much!

In the church, with the 7 layer dip, by myself... don't know whose 7 layer dip was in the fridge inbetween conference but I stole it! my bad! Just such a beautiful Conference Weekend! I'm going to have to go back and read them all! I was so worried and focused on Rudy's fam but I loved President Holland's "Don't be afraid of tomorrow!"

Man Texas Texas Texas what a beaut!!! I love you all sooo much! Shout out to the new babes! Shout out to Mitch who had a B-day yesterday. Rhett today! and minds on thursday?? Happy b-day to rachie! and just shout outs to everyone! Happy Happy April! I love you more than Mrs. Scarrlet and Mr. Green in the Billard Room with the candel stick! 

have the best week ever!

Hermana WAG

 Last mlc with some of my favorite missionaries that are leaving! Hna. Sanchez basically trained me!

choco bananas! Janira makes the BEST ONES!

the whole fam! plus one of the 20 year old guys Rudy is given advice to! p.s. sorry disgusting pic after a long day of biking! 

Angelica and Ana! my little new sisters! check out the easter basket! 

#pollen... you could say my eyes itch sooooo bad!!! all the cars look like this, tennis balls! yay texas!